Falcon's Fair

One day the Falcon saved former President Carter.

President Carter had come to Emersonville for the Annual Popcorn eating contest where the Falcon had been the grand champion for ten years running. Carter, a former peanut farmer, thought that peanuts were close enough to Popcorn to give him an advantage.

The contest began and towards the end, just as predicted by the ESPN sports entertainment analysts, it was the Falcon and Carter neck and neck. The Falcon, however, had a plan.

From the treetops of Emersonville's prize spruce tree came a screech. Frightened children ran for cover as Redwing, the Falcon's falcon, came swooping down toward Carter. The Secret Service agents, 20 years past their prime when they were assigned to the ex-president, couldn't respond fast enough. The bird was about to claw President Carter's eyes out ... but Carter had a plan.

Redwing heard no more than a hum as a spinning, red, white and blue shield smacked him up into the air and crashing down onto the plates being prepared for the parsley eating contest.

Captain America bounded onto the scene and retrieved his shield. He confronted the Falcon, who had snapped, reverting back into Snap Wilson, his former alter ego, that had been supressed by his Falcon persona, before he became Captain America's side kick, before his mother and father were killed in Harlem.

Meanwhile, President Carter hadn't lost a beat. He was almost to the bottom of his seventh bowl of popcorn and was already reaching for the butter and salt to season his last bowl.

The Falcon and Captain America were in a stare down, the hush broken only by Carter's choppers. Then Captain America's achilles' heel, his chronically dry eyes, got him again: he blinked.

The Falcon sprung through the air and tackled Captain America. They traded blows, rumbling through the Historical Plaid displays.

President Carter was just about to finish the final bowl of popcorn and break the Falcon's record when he started to choke. The Falcon, now controlled by his alter-alter-ego, Snap Wilson, stopped to chuckle at the old man and was hit broadside by Captain America's shield.

The Falcon kicked the shield out of Captain America's hands and it soared to the edge of the fair grounds where it fell onto and crushed the first daisy of spring, thus nullifying the entire festival. -- The first daisy of spring, as is well known, dictates where and when the festival should be held.

President Carter's face was turning blue, his Secret Service agents unable to remove the Heimlich-inator out of its vacuum-molded, plastic packaging. With the fair and the popcorn eating contest now invalidated, he was about to choke to death for nothing.

Captain America and the Falcon, unaware that they too now fought for naught, both raced to the shield. Captain America got to it first and kicked it towards the Falcon. The Falcon was unpreppared and braced himself for the impact when the Falcon's falcon, Redwing, flew in front of the shield, sacrificing his body and sending the shield back across the fair grounds.

President Carter stood up for one last gasp when Captain America's shield hit him in the back, making him throw up all the popcorn he had eaten.

Moved by the death of Redwing, the Falcon's falcon, Captain America put his hand on his former sidekick's shoulder. But the Falcon sucker-punched Captain America and took to the skies, declaring that he will get revenge on Captain America AND President Carter both ... when and where the next, new official daisy of spring blooms and the fair's eating contests are again held.

NOT TO BE CONTINUED ...